#writing #article #joy #PTSD #domestic_abuse #happiness #never_give_up
I woke up this morning and was thinking about my life, and some of you know that I believe that my happiness is 100% my responsibility...that had me thinking about other words associated with happiness like: delight, jubilation, gratitude, radiance, bliss, and joy...the hardest thing is to find that happiness when situations become uncomfortable, and then I looked and saw what was right in front of me and do you know what I saw, joy. it isnt my children's responsibility to be silly and make me happy but they do bring me joy because of who they are, just like the friends I have bring me joy, the places I go, the things I do, the hobbies I partake in.
when things become uncomfortable with my children because of a wrong choice they made. they still bring me joy...and when the frustration is great all I have to do is remember that joy and the situation doesnt become so critical or intense., the wrong choice still gets addressed but my attitude changes. it's a choice to be happy and to be joyful.
think of it like this, I love Alaska, it has fireweed that can be made into jelly, bears at streams as the king salmon go up river to spawn, steams at night time in winter that are so hot your run out and jump in a snow drift naked to cool down., Surely you have a place that you just thought about that brings that joy or maybe it was person.. Alaska is a place I love to travel to because of the joys it brings and the experiences.. Alaska though can be dangerous and scary place when things happen. a forest fire near a fish and hunting lodge I worked at, bear attacks at camps or when you startle a bear as you jog past, and other unnerving experiences. Do I allow the unnerving experiences to deny me the joys that Alaska has to offer? Some would because the unnerving experiences darken and outweigh the joys, but here is my next point, not only do you choose to be happy or joyful, you have to act. and do those things that bring you joy to change the outcome of the amount of joy that thing brings you.
In my life I have survived domestic abuse, rape, and PTSD. I could say that events of my life have darkened and outweighed the good experiences I have taken part in for most of my life, or I can say that I am happy because everyday I choose not to give up, to do the things and be with the people that bring joy to my life.
don't get me wrong, I dont always choose right, I am after all human, and sometimes I'm tempted to run away but if my life has taught me anything, one of the most important lessons I have learned is running away doesnt change the fear, insecurities, it prolongs having to face them and you allow yourself through those fears, to rob you of that thing or person that would bring you joy for a certain time or forever if you hurt a friend enough that they no longer see you as a source of joy.
dont rob yourself of their friendship of the joy your experiences would give you, even if it isnt the experiences your wanting or looking for because that friend you care for, cares for someone else. or maybe it was because you get in your head and then feel lile all that person sees you as how someone else described you. your embarrassed..the number of. reasons or should I say excuses can be great..which one would you choose to be. happy and joyful or allow fears, hurt and other emotions rob you from your joy cause you run or end a friendship or stop going places or doings things that bring you joy...
no one or thing should control your happy, only you, and if something or someone doesn't bring the joy you once had then go to those areas, and do things that would bring joy back to that area...as a.survivor of domestic abuse and dealing with PTSD, hanging out with friends would cause a bad situation to occur, now that I'm no longer in that situation my brain still sees going out with my new frienda as a bad thing to do. I flash.cant breathe, dont remember present conversations I'm having with that friend. I feel weak and embarrassed but you know what...its an area that I want to feel the presences of joy and so what do I do...go out more with friends and experience that joy being with them brings to my life and I practice remembering thst joy and not the memories and emotions associated with the traumatic events I have experienced.
art is a.passion, if I allowed the negative comments of one person to stop me from drawing, I would have robbed myself of the joy the drawing of lines and creating something 3d on a 2d surface brings me..to take the things seen in my mind and putting them to paper or computer screen.
for all my friends who share ptsd with me, when you experiemce an episode of PTSD find the joy in the moment, you will still have the adrenaline, fear, and other symptoms you face, but each time you find the joy your brain will get hijacked less seeing the joys and feeling less of the other symptoms..other emotions may surface like guilt, that will need to be addressed but its starts with choice to be happy amd see the joy something or someone gives you.
what will you do and choose?...See more